The Sexuality Temptation, Balancing Hormones and the NogginAs I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men use love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles translate excellent sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, making love brings immense meaning and repercussions.
Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:
A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready as well).
B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), that makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are attracted to exceptionally tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , resulting in powerful feelings of destination, enjoyment, well-being, nearness, and love .
When issues develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is terrific!" They probably wouldn't confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, says that many of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.
" For gay men specifically in cities, i thought about this sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, encourages sexual activity. Many gay men wish to discover from the beginning if a potential partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".
North adds, "I suspect this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a provided that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow with time.
When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.
To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with typical sense. While great sex is crucial for a sustainable relationship, you have to make visit this site your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, values, and objectives -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!