The Sexuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the MindAs I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles analyze excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, having sex brings tremendous meaning and consequences.
Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:
A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready as well).
B.more typically, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), that makes the opportunity to make love with someone we are drawn in to extremely difficult to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chemical responses are involuntary and strong , leading to powerful sensations of attraction, excitement, closeness, wellness, and love .
However when problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is terrific!" They most likely wouldn't confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, states that much of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.
" For gay guys especially in city areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, encourages sex. Many gay males wish to discover from the starting if a potential partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".
North adds, "I presume this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a provided visite site that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow in time.
Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when web the hormone-induced intoxication disappears and truth hits.
To click over here prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, requirements, values, and goals -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!