The Sexuality Deception, Stabilizing Hormones and the HeadAs I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and males utilize love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs analyze great sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther because for these songs, having sex carries immense significance and repercussions.
Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:
A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be good too).
B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other individual might be a match on levels besides physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), which makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are brought her latest blog in to exceptionally difficult to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , causing powerful feelings of attraction, excitement, nearness, love, and well-being .
But when issues develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is fantastic!" They more than likely wouldn't confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, states that a number of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.
" For gay guys particularly in city locations, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".
North adds, "I presume this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a provided that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow gradually.
Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and reality hits.
To avoid browse around here the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with good sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, objectives, worths, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!