The Sexuality Catch, Balancing Hormones and the HeadAs I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males use love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs interpret excellent sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, having sex carries tremendous meaning and repercussions.
Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:
A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will be excellent as well).
B.more typically, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), makings the chance to have sex with someone we are attracted to incredibly hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), that makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , resulting in effective sensations of attraction, excitement, love, wellness, and nearness .
However when issues emerge, those who fall under the Sex Trap typically rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is fantastic!" They most likely wouldn't confess it, however they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual tourist why not find out more attraction and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, says that much of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.
" For gay guys particularly in cosmopolitan areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be excellent?".
Nonetheless, North adds, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow gradually.
When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.
To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests site integrating chemistry with common sense. While excellent sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, objectives, values, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!