The Sex Trap, Balancing Hormones and the CraniumAs I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and men utilize love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles translate great sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, making love carries immense significance and effects.
Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:
A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will ready also).
B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), more tips here dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), that makes the opportunity to make love with someone we are attracted to exceptionally hard to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , resulting in powerful feelings of tourist attraction, excitement, wellness, closeness, and love .
But when issues emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is fantastic!" They more than likely would not admit it, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, states that a lot of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.
" For gay guys specifically in metropolitan locations, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex click reference isn't going to be excellent?".
North adds, "I believe this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow with time.
Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and truth hits.
To avoid the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with common sense. While great sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, goals, and values -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!