The Sex Trap, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and guys use love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles interpret excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these songs, having sex brings enormous meaning and repercussions.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be great too).

B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), that makes the chance to make love with somebody we are brought in to extremely difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are involuntary and strong , resulting in powerful sensations of attraction, enjoyment, love, wellness, and closeness .

When issues emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is terrific!" They most likely wouldn't confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools check it out are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, says that a number of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in cities, sex is easily available, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, motivates sex. If a possible partner is going to be sexually suitable, many gay guys want to discover out from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

North includes, "I think this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow over time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication disappears and truth hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with good sense. While great sex is crucial for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, values, objectives, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *