The Sex Deception, Balancing Hormones and the CraniumAs I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and men use love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs analyze excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these songs, having sex brings enormous significance and effects.
Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:
A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready as well).
B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels besides physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), that makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are brought in to exceptionally hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus site link to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely near and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , causing you can check here powerful sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, well-being, love, and closeness .
But when problems occur, those who fall under the Sex Trap frequently justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is terrific!" They more than likely wouldn't confess it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, says that a number of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.
" For gay guys especially in urban areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".
Nonetheless, North includes, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow over time.
Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and truth hits.
To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is check essential for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, requirements, objectives, and values -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!