The Sex Catch, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the CraniumAs I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and men use love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles analyze excellent sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these singles, having sex carries enormous meaning and repercussions.
Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:
A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be excellent as well).
B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels aside from physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), makings the chance to make love with someone we are brought in to very difficult to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), that makes us feel really near to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , leading to powerful sensations of attraction, enjoyment, closeness, wellness, and love .
When issues emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is terrific!" They here are the findings more than likely would not confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, states that many of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.
" For gay males particularly in metropolitan locations, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".
North includes, "I presume this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is crucial. Chemistry is a provided that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow with time.
Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and truth hits.
To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, requirements, worths, and goals -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!