The Sensuality Temptation, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the CraniumAs I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and males use love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles translate good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these songs, having sex brings tremendous meaning and consequences.
Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:
A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will be good also).
B.more typically, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels besides physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), which makes the chance to make love with somebody we are drawn in to incredibly difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , causing effective sensations of destination, enjoyment, nearness, wellness, and love .
When issues arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is great!" They most likely wouldn't confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, states that a lot of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.
" visit the website For gay men particularly in urban locations, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".
North adds, "I presume this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a given that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow with time.
When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.
To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with typical sense. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, worths, goals, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing stimulates!